Father’s Day is approaching and I almost forgot about it. Before you judge me, know that my husband almost forgot as well. A few weeks ago, when discussing dates for a certain event, he innocently asked, “Oh, Father’s Day is that day?” Instead of using that question to fish for gifts like I probably would, he genuinely seemed surprised.

Maybe it’s because he truly doesn’t care about that day or he doesn’t expect much out of it, but this Sunday will be the third Father’s Day for my husband, and his attitude has been the same about it every year — indifferent.

I remember being so excited to celebrate his first Father’s Day. I ordered a customized frame with our daughter’s name engraved at the top and included a picture of him holding her at just 10 days old. Oh and a card. Can’t forget the card.

He loved the gift and brunch that we had that day. I think the card could have been omitted as he read it and then put it back in the envelope to never be seen again (as he does with most cards), but I thought it was a nice touch. Overall, he seemed to enjoy his day, but there was no true excitement. This could be due to his love languages (none of which include gift giving or words of affirmation) or to the fact that he, like many people, doesn’t consider Father’s Day to be much to fuss over.

According to an article, “Why Mother’s Day Beats Father’s Day For Both Spending and Deals” from TheStreet.com, The National Retail Federation estimated that consumers would spend over $20 billion on Mother’s Day while only $14.3 billion was spent on Father’s Day last year. A survey found that 46 percent of people planned to buy a gift for mom for Mother’s Day as opposed to 30 percent for dad for Father’s Day.

Why is this?

The article goes on to say that some participants revealed that they feel guilty if they don’t buy a gift for Mother’s Day, but the same guilt isn’t necessarily felt for or from dad.

Is the way we treat these man-made holidays a reflection of how differently we treat our parents? Is it a personal decision or one put upon us by society? Is it that most people are truly closer to their mom, whether they were raised solely by her or due to a mother’s innate nurturing characteristics, so we place more value on Mother’s Day? Is it because of the number of people who didn’t have a good relationship with their fathers, or didn’t have one at all? It could be many things.

Now that I’m a mom, I better understand the work that it takes to be a great mom and how undervalued mothers can often feel. Maybe that’s why I told my husband we needed to get both of our moms a gorgeous bouquet of flowers this year, as opposed to the usual cards. But I realized that we aren’t in the habit of giving anything to our fathers for Father’s Day. I don’t really think they mind, but now that think about it, I do.

However, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day shouldn’t be the only days in the year that we show appreciation to people who have given us life or stepped into that role. Maybe this year we’ll at least acknowledge the special men in our lives by doing more than just giving them a little card and a phone call.

But we will save the ties for the future — no need for them to go to waste.

The post Serious Question: Why Do You Care More About Mother’s Day Than Father’s Day? appeared first on MadameNoire.

By Nneka Samuel

Three-time Olympian. President of the Women’s Sports Foundation. Broadway actress. Co-chair of the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition. Star of Prince’s 1996 music video, “Betcha By Golly, Wow” (a personal fave). Motivational speaker. History maker.

The long list of triumphant feats, titles and overall awesomeness worthy of now retired gymnast Dominique Dawes’ nickname, Awesome Dawesome, is seemingly never-ending. But the greatest, most important title she has ever held is that of mom.

Now a stay-at-home mother of two precious daughters, Kateri, three-and-a-half, and Quinn, nearly two, Dominique takes being her children’s first teacher very seriously. And though Dominique’s daughters aren’t quite old enough to fully understand the impact of her latest advocacy endeavor, they one day will. Dawes teamed up with the National Park Foundation’s (the philanthropic partner of the National Park Service) Parks 101 series. NPF’s President Will Shafroth referred to Dawes as an obvious partner because she is “incredibly energetic and passionate” and “authentically enthusiastic.”

The Parks 101 series is an ongoing celebration meant to encourage the exploration of lesser-known stories of countrywide, national landmarks, and Dominique partook in a day’s worth of Washington, D.C. site visits with tours led by park rangers. Organized around the theme of equality and justice, she went to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial, Belmont-Paul Women’s Equality National Monument and the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site – all a stone’s throw away from her hometown of Silver Spring, Maryland.

Read on to learn more about Dawes’ involvement with the National Park Foundation, how she keeps in shape and whether or not her children will be future gymnasts.

MadameNoire: Why did you partner with the NPF? 

Dominique Dawes: As a mother, I am my two young daughters’ first teacher in life. And what a wonderful way to teach kids through their experience in visiting the national parks. Not just in the nation’s capital, but throughout the U.S. And it’s interesting because as I was preparing to come to these different parks in D.C., I was thinking, what has my experience been at national parks? And it’s amazing how many spectacular sites I’ve seen since I’ve been married these last four years with my husband and also with my daughters. Both of our baby moons – we actually chose to go to national parks. We actually went to Skyline Drive in Shenandoah. For my 35th birthday, I actually hiked Old Rag with my coach. That was a hard workout. I was sore after that. Even for our honeymoon, we spent much time out in the northwest in Oregon, going to Crater Lake and Multnomah Falls. Went to Ecola National Park, a part of Canon Beach and went to Alaska and saw Denali. I never thought I was like the outdoorsy type and into parks until I actually took some time and thought about these amazing memories and experiences that I’ve had with my husband and with my family.

How will you share this with your children? 

When [my kids] get older, my husband and I definitely look forward to sharing our country’s history, our country’s culture and all those beautiful natural resources we have through all of these national parks. People know the name of the Everglades or Yellowstone, the big parks are the ones people really talk about. It’s the lesser-known ones that we want people to explore and go visit and have amazing memories with their families. You can go to findyourpark.com to actually look around and find parks that are within driving distance to you and your family and go visit those.

What would you say to people of color who aren’t visiting national parks and don’t really think about them? 

I was aware of [the lack of diversity] but I will say from my experience of going to parks, I don’t look around and notice it so much. My thing is as a family with two young daughters, we look for things that are going to be affordable and that will be able to build lasting memories. And that’s what I say to minority families that are maybe not sold on or haven’t thought of visiting their national parks, to think of those things. With my husband and I with two toddlers, we are not trying to spend a great deal of money to have an experience with our toddlers. National parks are usually free of charge, or there’s a small donation. I would encourage families to look into those experiences because affordable and lasting memories – those are two key things that families are always looking for these days.

What fitness activities do you do with your children? 

I’m always looking for positive and engaging activities with my young girls and not ones that I’m just sitting and we’re stagnant, but ones where we’re moving and we’re being active. And even though that  doesn’t compare to let’s say running a marathon or training for an Olympics, we are active. We’re walking around. And that’s the experience that you can get at many of our nation’s parks and many of the national parks out there. You can go on a wonderful hike or just be able to see beautiful sites. So you’re being active and you’re also seeing amazing sites. I think it does really tie into physical fitness a great deal. Like I mentioned earlier, when I turned 35 and hiked Old Rag, that was a serious workout. All the sweating I endured for those many hours I remember was a great way to get in shape and stay in shape.

I used to hike weekly with my coach but I am a little skittish when it comes to animals. I’m horrible. So I’m not necessarily hiking the trails that I used to with my coach because she would try to pull me out of my comfort zone. But I will say with my young girls, they’re pretty young, so we’re not taking them to national, historical parks on a regular basis. But recently, I had a speaking engagement in Sioux Falls and my husband and two daughters traveled there with me. We saw the beautiful Falls and then drove across the border into Minnesota and went and visited Pikesville National, which took me back to my Native American roots. So that was a wonderful experience for my husband and I. I don’t know what my girls took away from it other than they were in the car with mommy and daddy. But that’s just a way to be active with my kids and to get a little fitness at the same time.

Tell us about being co-chair of the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition.

I loved being one of the leaders there for a good six and a half years and working with Drew Brees and Michelle Obama, a part of her Let’s Move initiative. It was wonderful to not just talk the talk but also walk the walk, and to go to schools or to go to events or be at the White House and not be there solely to give a speech, but to be active with the young people that they would bring in. I would love that opportunity again.

Are your kids involved in sports?

I would assume that it would be too early [to get my kids involved] under the age of six years old, but no, my three and a half year old, Kateri, and my nearly two-year-old, Quinn, we do open gymnastics classes multiple times a week. Just open for them to play. Kateri is already in a structured gymnastics class at my coach’s gym in Gaithersburg, Maryland. I take her once a week and she has a blast when she chooses to listen and when she choose to sit in the class. She, many times, runs out in the waiting room and hangs out with me.

And then on the weekends, my husband and I have a little soccer class that we have them in. It’s really because I’m home all day with the kids, and it will drive you nuts if you stay home, inside, with two very active kids. So from the start of the morning, I’ve never felt like I’ve had to exert so much energy in my life, even training for Olympics. But I am on the go with these two girls, going to a nature center in my neighborhood, walking trails, going to the park, doing these little classes, which are fun. I do love to share with people and say that when you become a parent and you choose to spend a great deal of time and make that sacrifice and commitment to be home with your kid, if you have the ability to do so, I would highly recommend people to do that. Because then you start choosing to see life through the eyes of a child and you start seeing how beautiful life is, how appreciative we are and how a lot of the little things that we would stress over really are not that important. Each and every day, though, it’s a challenge and I love complaining to my husband about how hard it is. But it is truly a joy being at home with these two little angels.

The post Fitness Fridays: Dominique Dawes On Doing Gymnastics With Her Kids, Her Love Of Hiking National Park Trails appeared first on MadameNoire.

Credit: Derrick Salters/WENN.com

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage, right? That’s what Hill Harper thought for most of his life as well, which is why the single actor had yet to become a dad. But when a friend encouraged Harper to look into single parent adoption and a stroke of fate landed him in the path of a mother who was looking for adoptive parents, Harper found himself becoming a single father at 51.

“I always thought I was going to get married, have my own kids and I was going to adopt,” Harper told Good Morning America today. “I had talked about adopting and I had talked about wanting to be this dad, and she said, ‘You’re going to be a great dad but I think you’re waiting too long. You may get to a point where you’ll decide you’re not going to do it. Even though you’re not married, why can’t you just be a dad now?’”

Although Harper took his friend’s advice and spoke with an adoption person she knew in the summer of 2015, he said by the end of learning the process he told the guy, “I’m just not ready. I’m not there.”

The universe seemed to have other plans, however.

“[F]ast-forward to right before Thanksgiving of that year, I get a call from him,” Harper explained. “I was shooting a show called ‘Limitless’ at the time. I was in my dressing room and I didn’t know why he was calling me. He says, ‘There’s a wonderful young woman who is having a son in three weeks. Would you be interested in adopting him?’”

Although Harper was initially caught off guard, once he talked to the birth mother, his decision was solidified.

“I really felt like it was God telling me to do it,” he told People magazine. “And I’m so glad that he chose me, and [Pierce’s mom] and God and the universe chose me.”

Pierce, his son, was born in December 2015 and Harper was right there in the delivery room and even cut the umbilical cord.

“I was so scared. I think because it was such a huge decision. But looking back now, all the fears I had were ridiculously small compared to the joy of having him in my life and having the opportunity to be a father…[Adopting Pierce] was the greatest decision I’ve ever made and I’ve never been happier.”

Pierce is now 18 months old and slowly making his debut on the actor’s Instagram, proving his dad’s point that he loves music as you can see in the video below.

“I never felt I could love this deeply,” Harper said. “I love him and he’s my son.”

The post Hill Harper Adopted A Son: “I Really Felt Like It Was God Telling Me To Do It” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Jessie Williams is synonymous with the term #WokeBae, but one of the reasons fans go so crazy over the “Grey’s Anatomy” actor is because he’s truly one in a million. In a sea of famous folks with a platform to spark meaningful change, he’s one of few who will actually stick his neck out to speak out on societal ills and deal with the consequences later. And in his mind, that really shouldn’t be that rare of a thing.

“You can have your cake and eat it too,” the 35 year old told GQ, speaking on the idea that only certain people can be activists or speak on politics. “You can walk and chew gum at the same time.”

Though he does acknowledge when it comes to celebrities — and social media — “You can definitely f-ck things up,” he adds, “[I]t’s feeble minded to say that just because you’re a basketball player you can’t care that your tax dollars go to an organized patrol force that kills people. We absolutely can do both—give me a break.”

Unlike many of his peers, social activism has always been a part of Williams’ life, which may be why he’s also less afraid to take a stance than some of his counterparts.

“I’m more comfortable around social-justice work,” he told the mag. “I’ve been doing it much longer, and it means more to me.”

But in the same way that acting doesn’t limit his willingness to speak out, Williams is very cognizant of spending as much time honing his craft as he does holding a light up to social injustices.

“I need both to sustain a balanced life. One is more dire and academic. And the other is an absolutely necessary creative outlet for me to stay sane.”

The post “You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It Too:” Jessie Williams Calls BS On The Idea You Can’t Be Famous And Woke appeared first on MadameNoire.

Telling you you’re worth it

Bringing up bikini season

Body analysis

Referral programs

Reminding you of holiday eating

Putting machines in windows

Scare tactics

Strutting their hottest trainers

Having different membership levels

Odd inspirational quotes

Suggesting you’re incapable

Posting before and after pictures

Suggesting you aren’t committed

Threatening to take the deal away

Insisting contracts keep you committed

The post Offensive Ways Gyms Get Your Business appeared first on MadameNoire.

Credit: Getty

Most people are aware that Jada Pinkett-Smith and Tupac shared a special relationship. Over the years, Jada has shared aspects of that relationship with the public from time to time, but the actress says the way she and Pac were portrayed in All Eyez on Me does not do either of them any justice.

As you know, All Eyez on Me hit theaters worldwide today on the birthday of the late rapper. And upon seeing the film, Jada had some harsh truths to expose about the biopic which she shared on Facebook and Twitter.

Forgive me… my relationship to Pac is too precious to me for the scenes in All Eyez On Me to stand as truth.

Pac never read me that poem. I didn’t know that poem existed until it was printed in his book.

Pac never said goodbye to me before leaving for LA. He had to leave abruptly and it wasn’t to pursue his career.

I’ve never been to any of Pac’s shows by his request. We never had an argument backstage.

The reimagining of my relationship to Pac has been deeply hurtful.

To Kat and Demetrius this is no fault of yours. Thank for bringing so much heart and spirit to your roles. You both did a beautiful job with what you were given. Thank you both.

Happy birthday Pac, you are cradled in my heart for eternity. I love you.

While neither Kat Graham, who plays Jada in the movie, and Demetrius Shipp Jr., who took on the role of the Pac have yet to address the tweets, fans responses to Jada’s message were mixed, with many questioning why the movie was made without her input and others declaring they still plan to see the film.

Jada is alive and thriving yet no one consulted her about the #AllEyezOnMe movie? And they got the story wrong? pic.twitter.com/BblFAnFaNH

— rosechocglam (@rosechocglam) June 16, 2017

Jada Pinkett watching the Tupac movie like…. pic.twitter.com/fWGgk10ysl

— HipHopWired (@HipHopWired) June 16, 2017

Jada has the real script. #AllEyezOnMe pic.twitter.com/eCauN61SXm

— K a r i o. (@itsKARY_) June 16, 2017

Anytime Will Smith see Jada talking about 2 Pac pic.twitter.com/MXDtZW0zzo

— Devanté (@_JuGatti) June 16, 2017

https://twitter.com/Canadianlka/status/875752481266876416

What do you think about Jada’s reaction? Will you still see All Eyez on Me?

The post Jada Pinkett’s Not A Fan Of All Eyez On Me: “The Reimagining Of My Relationship To Pac Has Been Deeply Hurful” appeared first on MadameNoire.

On this week’s episode of “Did Y’all See?” the co-host discuss Tinashe’s struggle “Guardian” interview, Charlamange da god vs. Chilli and Sasha Obama channels Beyonce as “Sasha Fierce” in sweet sixteen birthday pictures. Get into all this tea and more on “Did Y’all See?”.

The post Tinashe’s Colorism Controversy And Sasha Obama’s Birthday Slay | Did Y’all See? appeared first on MadameNoire.

When late pop star Michael Jackson first opened up about his struggles with vitiligo, the skin condition that causes white patches to appear on various parts of the body due to depigmentation, many people made jokes about his condition and assumed it was just an excuse for insecurities about his race and African-American features. Today thanks to famous faces like model, Winnie Harlow and child model, Angel Star we now know that vitiligo is something many people live with and learn to accept and embrace. But male model, Stephen Cone is reminding us that struggles with skin color and black beauty isn’t something American culture has a monopoly on. BET reports that the 23-year-old shared that growing up in London with dark skin wasn’t easy:

“Growing up I was bullied and teased for being ‘dark skin’ and not just from kids and other classmates, but teachers as well.”

“It really affected me. I didn’t know how to process it at a young age and embrace and love myself and my skin.”

Eventually, Cone began to be inspired by actors like Lance Gross and Idris Elba, actors in whom he saw reflections of himself in popular culture, but his awakening self-love was almost interrupted by a diagnosis of vitiligo. He shares he wasn’t exactly sure what was happening at first:

“I didn’t notice it at first.”

“Really, I thought it was a rash of some sort but my friend on our way to class pointed it out, and I joked around and said I had vitiligo. Which at the time I didn’t know I did. I was just trying to cover up the fact that I was actually embarrassed about what was going on.”

He says the diagnosis momentarily brought back feelings of isolation and self-hate:

“I felt like my younger self before the confidence.”

“When I first got the news I was hurt. The first dermatologist made it seem like there wasn’t much I could do. I was like, ‘Man, I just got comfortable in my skin. And now this is happening?!’ How are people going to look at me? How can I stand in front of a camera like this? I felt like I was just starting to look OK to people and now I look worse.”

Cone says thanks to his girlfriend he was able to overcome those feelings by sharing his story on social media, and giving a voice to black men who aren’t very vocal about building confidence and struggling with their appearance. He says her support along with other factors like God, friends and people who were familiar with his situation encouraged him to continue pursuing his dreams.

The unsigned model says forces in the fashion industry like Winnie Harlow are bringing an awareness to the public about vitiligo which he appreciates:

“First off she is beautiful; vitiligo or no vitiligo. And from what I know about her, I think she is an amazing voice and model for those who have vitiligo. I mean it! Because of people like her, we have even more awareness about this skin condition.”

Cone also expresses that there’s beauty in vulnerability and expressing masculine emotion, something that often isn’t highlighted in African-American culture:

“My advice to men is to continue to be strong because that is our identity; to be strong and to be leaders but in that we have to show emotion. It’s through our emotional experiences that we connect with others. That’s what I’ve learned with sharing my story.”

Cone is giving us all kinds of black boy joy with his message and a little “Kofi Siriboe” flavor. We have no doubt he’ll be the face of somebody’s national campaign in the near future.

Do you or does anyone you know have vitiligo?  In what ways do you embrace your beauty despite public opinion?

The post “I Didn’t Notice It At First” Model Stephen Cone Talks Developing Vitiligo Mid-Career appeared first on MadameNoire.

For the past few years, there’s been a craze over coconut oil, with many dubbing it  the ultimate multi-tasker and natural beauty staple. You can use it for everything from a makeup remover, moisturizer, shaving balm, to even cooking with it as a healthy alternative to butter and other cooking oils.

However, The Dietary Fats and Cardiovascular Disease advisory of the American Heart Association found that coconut oil increases LDL cholesterol (bad cholesterol), explaining that 82 percent of its composition is saturated fats. In comparison, it’s 19 percent more saturated fats than butter and 32 percent more than pork lard.

Marie-Pierre St-Onge, associate professor of nutritional medicine at Cornell University Medical School, shared her thoughts on why intaking coconut oil in particular isn’t good for you.

“The reason coconut oil is so popular for weight loss is partly due to my research on medium chain triglycerides,” she told TIME. “Coconut oil has a higher proportion of medium-chain triglycerides than most other fats or oils, and my research showed eating medium-chain triglycerides may increase the rate of metabolism more than eating long-chain triglycerides.”

Nevertheless, St-Onge’s research actually turns out to be a little misleading, as it’s been reported that the coconut oil she used was filled 100 percent medium-chain triglycerides, or MCT. In comparison, the coconut oil most people buy from the grocery story typically only contains 13 to 15 percent MCT.

The verdict? We’re definitely still using coconut oil in our daily beauty routine, but we’ll skip out on it in the kitchen.

The post Apparently Coconut Oil Isn’t As Healthy As We All Thought… Or Is It? appeared first on MadameNoire.

On Thursday, the Beygood Foundation announced that four phenomenal women got in formation and will receive $25,000 towards their education because of it. To receive the woman-only scholarship the women had to maintain a 3.5 GPA and write about how Beyoncé’s Lemonade inspired them in their educational pursuits.

All four of Beyoncé's Formation Scholars are Black Girls. 💁🏽🌟 pic.twitter.com/QSsz3crFcs

— Jasmyn Lawson (@JasmynBeKnowing) June 16, 2017

Huff Post reports that four black women were chosen. Maya Rogers and Bria Paige both attend historically black colleges and universities. Rogers is a graduate student studying music therapy at Howard University and Paige is an English major currently enrolled at Spelman College. The other two recipients are artists in their own right. Sadiya Ramos is a sophomore studying dance at Berklee College of Music and second-year student, Avery Youngblood is studying graphic design at Parsons School of Design.

In a press release, Paige said Lemonade was behind her decision to “pursue doctoral studies centered on black feminist thought”:

“As I prepare to enter into my junior year at Spelman College, I walk with new purpose as I work to redefine and transform academia, specifically infusing creativity, innovation and popular culture into scholarship.”

“Similar to Beyoncé, I aim to merge two worlds, considered to be complete opposites, to create my own genre of scholarship.”

Congrats ladies! The women will all receive $25,000 towards their education. You can learn more about The Formation Scholarship and this year’s recipients here.

The post Meet The Ladies Who “Got In Formation” And Are The First Recipients Of Beyoncé’s Scholarship Fund appeared first on MadameNoire.

Bill Cosby’s sexual assualt case has come to a close.

After the jury – made up of seven men and five women – underwent six days of deliberations and were unable to come to a unanimous verdict on any of the three counts of felony aggravated indecent assault  that Cosby had been charged with, the judge has declared it a mistrial.

But the comedian who plead not guilty isn’t off the hook just yet. According to ABC News, “Kevin R. Steel, the district attorney from Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, who brought the charges, has announced he will retry the case.”

CNN, who has been live reporting the happenings of the case, shared that a spokeswoman for Cosby read a statement from his wife, Camille Cosby, who criticized prosecutors, the judge and the media.

In addition, they reported that Gloria Allred, the attorney representing many of Cosby’s accusers, said she hopes the court will allow other “prior bad act witnesses” to testify at the next trial. “If the court allows more accusers to testify … it might make a difference. In other words, it’s too early to celebrate Mr. Cosby.”

The post Judge Declares Bill Cosby Sexual Assault Case A Mistrial appeared first on MadameNoire.

I’m terrified at the thought of sending my toddler to daycare. In fact just the other night, as my daughter sat in my lap with her head nestled in my chest, avoiding eye contact with cousins she hadn’t seen in months, I told a relative, “My baby is perfectly fine stepping into the ‘classrooms’ of her two sets of grandparents each week. She won’t step foot into a daycare until it’s time for Pre-K.” Like many new parents that I’m sure have felt this way, survived and soon found themselves asking their kids to tuck and roll their way into school from a moving car, I know these feelings are a part of the process and will pass. The idea of my daughter leaving the protection of her close relatives and entering a world where daycare workers throw children down steps gives me all kinds of anxiety.

But what worries me just as much is the cruelty of other children and my baby entering a world where racism exists and knowing that her classmates won’t all be returning to a household where dinner is served regularly with parents who have a decent idea about boundaries, acceptance and respect. I also know that all those kids won’t be taught about diversity and tolerance and I worry about whose feelings I may have to hurt in the event that they’re careless with those of my child.

Although my daughter is only two, the dilemma my partner I find ourselves facing is whether we want to put up private school tuition and continue to live in Philadelphia or put up tax payments to get our daughter an admittedly better education in the suburbs. Of course as we browse Trulia.com and even occasionally drive through neighborhoods in the county while doing our dose of weekly shopping we jokingly ask each other, “Are there any black folks out here? Will our daughter find herself having to be the class expert on hip-hop, cornrows and African-American culture even if she’s listening to Halsey with the rest of her classmates.” It’s also important to her father that she gets her fair share of “struggle” and at least have an understanding that no matter how fortunate she is that many of her blessings come from humble beginnings. I didn’t realize how real the fears of my daughter facing intolerance were until I came across an article by a woman named Margaret Jacobsen called, “Honestly, Sometimes I’m Uncomfortable With My Children Making White Friends”. In the piece Jacobsen recalls a moment when her bi-racial daughter handled an awkward moment with a “You Tried It” reaction Tamar Braxton would be proud of. Jacobsen was at a friend’s house when a child proceeded to question her daughter about her hair:

“Why did God give you this gross hair? Why didn’t he give you princess hair like mine?’ I just stared at her, because I couldn’t fathom why she would ever say something like that. But thankfully, my daughter didn’t get upset. Instead, she retorted, ‘My hair is perfect. I have a black mom and a white dad, so it actually makes my hair better than your straight hair.’ Then she went back to playing.”

Jacobsen says the moment was the first of many in which she realized other parents weren’t having the same conversations with their kids as she had with her own:

“It was the moment that I realized that not everyone talks to their children about race, which can put my children in an uncomfortable position — and I want to avoid putting them in that position whenever possible.”

Although Jacobsen’s kids are half black and white, she mentions race and respect for other cultures and backgrounds is a conversation that she suspects may not be as prevalent in white households as it is for minorities. She notes that when parents make remarks like, “I don’t see color,” it makes her nervous for her children, because when you don’t see color, you don’t see or appreciate diversity. When you don’t see color you aren’t having conversations with your children that “princess hair” doesn’t just mean straight and blonde, it can be black and curly or red and wavy. I don’t want my daughter to make friends’ with kids’ parents who pull out the dashikis every February to prove that they celebrate all cultures, but I do want other children to know that black is different and wonderful and not something my daughter needs to defend or give a PowerPoint on every time they tune in for an episode of black-ish.

Jacobsen mentions that she finds herself doing a sort of “vetting process” when it comes to her kids’ classmates and their parents to see exactly how “woke” they are. With her kids attending a suburban school outside of a major city, 90% of their classmates are white so for many it’s their first time having any sort of connection to a part of African-American culture. Jacobsen says discussing her work helps to navigate other parents’ ideas on race:

“I’m a photographer and a writer. I write about raising black children, being a black parent, and what it’s like to be black in America.”

For Jacobsen, this her subtle way of expressing how important race is in the life of her family and letting other parents know that her kids are prepared for these types of conversations, but are theirs?

As a parent, all I know is that I don’t want my daughter’s feelings hurt. I know that in the political and cultural climate we live in, that’s a tall order, but I don’t believe it’s impossible. The first time I ever had the subtle scent of racism and stereotyping fill my nostrils was during my freshman year of college when one of my white roommates stated matter-of-factly, “You’re so nice for a black girl.” I wasn’t offended, but I was awoken to the fact that there are plenty of Caucasian kids in Middle-Of-Nowhere, USA towns like where I attended undergrad who believe that every black girl from the city whose name ends in an “A”, will be popping gum, and twerking in some box braids ready to beat a broad’s behind. I know I won’t be able to prevent my daughter from having these types of encounters, but what I can do is teach her to own who she is in the face of ignorance, whether she’s rocking box braids or a bundle of Malaysian down her back. Because as much as parents of all colors may be intimidated by conversations about race, they are necessary. And in Jacobsen’s opinions conversations about race and respect go hand in hand:

“We talk about it. We talk about being black, about the white side of the family, about what it means to have light skin privilege, which my children have. We make sure that whoever comes over is respected and loved, but who they are is never neglected or ignored. We honor the cultures, traditions, and stories that are carried into our home by those who visit us.”

How are you preparing your children to defend themselves against racism and maintain tolerance in today’s world?

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post No Nap Time, Stay Woke: Are You Scared Of Your Children Having White Friends? appeared first on MadameNoire.

#LUSTMatteTrance ⚡⚡⚡ A LUST worthy collection of lipsticks, curated in three trios of climax inducing shades. Navigate the notorious in SKIN SHOW. Corrupt charismatically in COLOUR BLITZ. Vamp it up voluptuously in VICIOUS VENOMS. ❤️❤️❤️ #patmcgrathlabs LUST: #MatteTrance Premiering July 2017 on PATMcGRATH.com, Limited Edition.

A post shared by Pat McGrath (@patmcgrathreal) on Jun 13, 2017 at 11:14am PDT

Ladies, our favorite makeup guru Pat McGrath is back with yet another product that you’ll want to get your hands on.

After bestowing some really, really cool smokey eye kits upon us in April, she’s now focusing on fleeting our pout with nine-piece collection of beautifully pigmented matte lipsticks. Dubbed Lust MatteTrance, it features three various color palettes to compliment all skin tones. There’s Skin Show, which boasts of nudes; Colour Blitz, which stuns with vibrant hues of red; and Vicious Venoms, which offers striking tones of purple.

In addition to it’s inclusiveness, this matte offering stands out for the fact that it promises to hydrate your lips. And we know how notorious matte lipsticks are for drying out your lips.

GIVE in to the TRANCE. ⚡⚡⚡ Obsessed by this MAJOR MOUTH in LUST: #MatteTrance shade FLESH 3, photography by the DIVINE @desiree_mattsson Shot exclusively for #PatMcgrathLabs 🖤🖤🖤 #LUSTMatteTrance premieres July 2017 on patmcgrath.com

A post shared by Pat McGrath (@patmcgrathreal) on Jun 16, 2017 at 11:33am PDT

The post Pat McGrath Is Releasing A Game-Changing Collection Of Matte Lipsticks Next Month appeared first on MadameNoire.

she a lil’ street but she so suhweet

A post shared by K E K E (@keke) on Jun 15, 2017 at 12:50pm PDT

While we all know Keke Palmer as an actress and budding songstress, in recent times she’s emerged as a hair chameleon. Not even a month ago, she was spotted rocking burgundy box braids and now she’s popped up on Instagram sporting a head turning purple buzzcut.

“As you can see from my track record, I love trying new things,” Palmer told Refinery29 in an exclusive interview, where she went on to explain the reason why she chopped off her mane. “I wanted to start over. My texture has changed quite a bit over the years from all the things I’ve done to it. I really want to be able to let my hair rest and become its own thing. I also really wanted to be bald!”

In addition to starting from scratch, Keke offered, “I love trying new things. I love finding new versions of myself. It just makes me feel super inspired.”

She’s the wildcard you wanna be holding.

A post shared by K E K E (@keke) on Jun 15, 2017 at 12:57pm PDT

With hair being an accessory, Palmer also gushed about changing her wardrobe to compliment her new ‘do. “For me, style is all about self-expression. I’m in a place in my life where I realized I don’t have anything stopping me from expressing myself in any facet, and that makes me happy.”

Check out the entire article here.

The post Keke Palmer Shares The Inspiration Behind Her Latest ‘Do appeared first on MadameNoire.

If anyone is privy to the horror that is cystic acne, you’ll want to listen up closely.

Byrdie recently spoke to doctors Gary and Kristina Goldenberg of Goldenberg Dermatology in New York City about the severe type of acne that many women of all ages have encountered at some point in their lives. Surprisingly, the doctors explained that while the infection that forms deep below skin tissue is tough to crack it can actually be managed effectively at home.

Yes, you heard right. Instead of running up a bill at your doctors office, there’s a few steps you can take to get rid of your cystic acne with the help of a prescription.

To begin, the Goldenbergs believes that cystic acne is heavily correlated to diet, explaining, “Diet is very important in development and progression of acne.” Therefore, it’s a good idea to make some modifications to your diet, in particular, cutting out all dairy products. However, they do recommend eating only organic dairy products if you have to. “We recommend a daily probiotic and ask patients to consume more anti-inflammatory foods,” they further offered. “A diet that produces an alkaline state is also important.” In addition to the aforementioned, the duo also believe in lowering your alcohol consumption if you feel like you’ve been indulging too much.

Next, they advise that simply keeping your skin clean will aid in keeping it clear. That means showering immediately after a work out, as you run the risk of “bacteria sitting on your skin. So, instead, just get up and shower and wash your face to keep your pores clean. Pillowcases are also a big deal, too. Keeping them clean is a must. By regularly washing your pillowcases, you’ll avoid irritation and infection.

When it comes to products, the Goldenbergs love peels. “Peels helps acne, and to some extent cystic acne,” say the Goldenbergs. “Peels containing retinoids or glycolic acid can be used alone or in combination with other treatments, such as prescription creams and pills.” But be sure to pick the right one that will suit your skin type well because it could make things worse. So, if you’ve got sensitive skin don’t go for something scented or including harsh ingredients. 

As most know, your stress levels can dictate cystic acne. Therefore, it’s best to as stress free as possible. That means self-care practices and simply taking time out for yourself. According to the Goldenbergs, you’ll see an improvement in your skin by doing such.

Check out the full article here, and kiss cystic acne goodbye!

The post Here’s How To Say Goodbye To Cystic Acne Without The Help Of A Prescription appeared first on MadameNoire.

It’s been nearly three years since the untimely death of Mike Brown. The then 18-year-old was gunned down in Ferguson, Missouri by white police officer Darren Wilson. Brown’s death sparked much conversation about race relations in America and the Black Lives Matter movement. Now, Brown’s story is reportedly being developed into a film by Warner Bros.

According to The Root, Warner Bros. has acquired the rights to “Tell the Truth & Shame the Devil: The Life, Legacy, and Love of My Son Michael Brown, a memoir co-written by Brown’s mother, Lezley McSpadden, and novelist Lyah Beth LeFlore.

It was also reported that there was a bidding war amongst a number of studios who were interested in making the movie. With Warner Bros. coming out successful, it’s being said that the studio is searching for a writer of color to take on the task of adapting the racially sensitive topic into a screenplay.

Tracking Board also reported that the film will thematically play out like Oscar-winning motion picture, Crash. 

For a refresher, Brown was not armed during the shooting with witnesses saying he had his hands up in the air when Wilson shot him. When taken to court, a St. Louis grand jury didn’t indict Wilson. The U.S. Department of Justice also determined that the witnesses who said Brown’s hands were up were not credible, and Wilson shot Brown in self-defense, ultimately being exonerated.

Stay tuned for the latest developments on Warner Bros. bringing Mike Brown’s story to the big screen.

The post Warner Bros. Is Reportedly Making A Movie About Mike Brown appeared first on MadameNoire.

Just in case you took a short nap, lost signal in a subway tunnel or got momentarily blinded by a stray eyelash, you may have missed the news that the Carter’s are now officially a family of five.

Multiple news sources have reported that Beyoncé and husband Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter welcomed the twins in Los Angeles recently. TMZ reports that sources close to the family have confirmed that the Lemonade singer gave birth to a boy and girl on Monday in Cedars-Sinai hospital in L.A., but a minor issue has kept the newborns in the hospital and doctors do not feel comfortable releasing them just yet.

So why almost a whole week for the blessed B-day news? A family representative apparently broke the news Saturday to People magazine:

“Bey and Jay are thrilled and have started sharing the news with their family and closest friends.”

The 35-year-old performer announced her pregnancy back in February posting pics of her blossoming belly in a Virgin Mary type photo shoot surrounded by flowers and lingerie. Queen Bey also literally glowed in all her maternity glory at the Grammy’s in the same month to perform songs from her Lemonade album and slayed per usual, despite having to postpone her performance at the Coachella festival in which she was announced as a headliner only a few weeks before (we all know that busy bee will pick up right where she left off and give her fans the performance of a lifetime next year). We also witnessed the couple surrounded by family and friends at an African themed “Carter Push Party”  with guests like Lala Anthony and Serena Williams in attendance. Let’s not forget she also announced she was going to help young women change the world one boss move at a time with her “Formation Scholarship” program.

All I did during my pregnancy was put together an IKEA shelf and develop an expensive Talenti Southern Butter Pecan Gelato habit. What you thought creating two lives was going to slow the almighty Bey down? Congrats to the Carter family!  We know Blue Ivy is going to be the best big sister and Jay-Z just received the greatest Father’s Day gifts ever.

The post Ring The Alarm! Take The Chains Off The Doors! This Is Not A Drill. The Carter Twins Are Here! appeared first on MadameNoire.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an emotional person in the least. My husband and I have built our 10+ year relationship on a solid foundation of sarcasm and dark humor. So when he proposed almost 3 years ago in our living room while I was clipping coupons, I didn’t exactly turn into a mess of tears and Vera Wang hopes and wishes. I high-fived him because he did a damn good job at choosing and emerald cut solitaire and texted my sister shortly after. But what turned me into an emotional mess was when my father called a few minutes later and told me, “We were wondering when he was going to finally do it. He asked us weeks ago!” A few days later when my little cousin called to congratulate me she also admitted, “He told me he was going to marry you a few years ago.”

I think what hit me front and center in the feels was the realization that from that moment on that seemingly outdated gesture was what marriage was about for me. It was about the idea of your family growing and becoming connected to whole new set of aunts, uncles and cousins just because of one person.  In the past I had never dated anyone who felt comfortable enough to hold a conversation with my Dad that wasn’t about me or when I wasn’t around. But for the past few years, my fiancé at the time had managed to get along with my parents effortlessly and always made my sister feel welcome when she would hang out with us, unlike other guys who seemed annoyed when anyone else had my attention but them. The idea of family growth was also important to me because I had never grown up close to my own extended family, and much of the time I had to treat my cousins with as much caution as I would a stranger on the subway. It was nice to witness how loyal my partner was to not only his family, but family friends that he grew up with. It opened my idea of family to a whole new world of Sunday dinners, family reunions and weekly phone calls from Grandma. I probably would’ve married my fiancé even if he didn’t ask for my father’s permission, but the gesture affirmed that he wasn’t just making a commitment to me, but my whole family, and I appreciated that.

The Wall Street Journal recently reported that asking your parent’s permission to make your lifelong union official isn’t as popular as it used to be. According to a 2015 internet poll done by wedding website The Knot, some 77% of suitors ask parents’ permission to wed their daughters, according to a 2015 internet poll of 12,000 brides and 1,200 grooms. Gay and lesbian couples are embracing the tradition too, with more than 40% asking parents’ OK.  But even at those rates many couples still say they would do the damn thing anyway with or without parental approval. Many couples reported that they had already gotten the engagement out of the way and booked a venue before letting their parents in on the secret.

Stephanie Coontz, author of “Marriage, A History” expresses that couples may be opting out of parental approval because marriages are becoming more equal with both partners contributing financially to the household and cohabitating before even discussing matrimony. She reveals that the tradition survives in part because couples hope their families will invest interest in their marriage and help hold it together in a time were divorce is so easily accessible.

In a world where independence is the goal and many couples find themselves having to prove their love and make scheduled progress on milestones like marriage, home ownership and parenthood, I think the idea of including family in your union from the beginning is comforting. When you’re starting a family, whether you have 5 kids or 2 cocker spaniels, you really start to grasp the importance of a support system and how much you may lean on your family for everything from house sitting to life advice. I’ve witnessed friends who have co-parented with partners whose families they can’t share a meal with without the cops being called, and I must admit being able to drop my child off with in-laws who genuinely like me and feel connected to me without their son being around makes all the difference. It’s nice to know that if there ever did come a time when we weren’t together for whatever reason, it might be awkward but I know that I could still call his parents and get support and he could still call my family and ask my Dad to take a ride in his muscle car without anyone feeling like strangers or enemies. And what better way to start that kind of relationship, than to include them from the very beginning. You marriage may not rise and fall on the approval of your parents, but unless you’re dealing with the in-laws from hell, having a few more relatives on your side could only help.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Did Your Partner Ask For Your Parents’ Permission To Marry You? appeared first on MadameNoire.

#PressPlay: did #ZoeKravitz nail the #NickiMinajChallenge, #Roommates!?

A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on Jun 15, 2017 at 11:36am PDT

For the past week, we’ve seen social media spin Nicki Minaj’s theatrical, Prague-boasting PSA into a viral challenge dubbed the #NickiMinajChallenege. From single parents holding down their personal and professional lives to chicks schooling all how to pull up to the super market after collecting food stamps at the welfare office, everyone is getting in on the fun — including Zoë Kravitz.

“Attention, this is how a bad b***h leaves her hotel to go do Good Morning America,” Kravitz boasted in the clip, where she’s seen holding a miniature tea cup while decked out in a fancy, blush-tone frock from Sies Marjan, a velvet The Row bag, and large black sunglasses. “Y’all b***hes can’t even spell Good Morning America,” she concluded, sauntering off down the hallway with a fierce strut.

We see you, Kravitz. Share with us some of your favorite videos from the #NickiMinajChallenege in the comment section below.

The post Watch Zoë Kravitz Nail The #NickiMinajChallenge appeared first on MadameNoire.

Friends think you’re hitting on them

They judge your parenting

They suggest counseling

They assume somebody already cheated

They think you’re headed for divorce

They think you’re sex addicts

They think it’s all about sex

Friends think they can hit on you

You’re hippies, drug users, into orgies…

It was the man’s idea

Your parents might reject it

Some people won’t want their kids around you

People ask what the end game is

Your friends will be cautious about other men

You and your spouse no longer have sex

The post How People Might Respond To Your Open Marriage, Just So You’re Prepared appeared first on MadameNoire.